Day One Monday 11th July
Watched little mermaid and enchanted. David doesn’t have high expectations of camp, I tried to boost it. Got to camp unpacked, some ice breaker games and then my team the Rice cookers had to cook dinner which was spag boll. It tasted bad and people treated me like I was an idiot who couldn’t cook. I was very frustrated by the end of dinner; I sat next to David for a bit but left to cool off. I want to give God influence and guidance over my life. Service number 1, I was excited but the speaker was so boring that I fell asleep. The theme for camp is faith, hope and love. Jerri started crying and I didn’t know what to do so Tim talked to her, the night over all was ok, could have been better.
Day two Tuesday 12th July
Got to have coco pops for brekkie, YUM! Meandered around until service 2 which alas was more boring than service 1, I fell asleep again. I went up for alter call about getting a breakthrough in camp, Ally gave me Romans 5 v 1-3. I read it and didn’t understand it, so I asked Josh later and him and I had a great chat, great because it opened my eyes, he asked me who I trusted and I said no one, he asked how my relationship with God was and I said what relationship, he asked about my hope and I said I have little hope. After realising what I said, I was like OH now I know what I need to work on. We talked until service 3, that I can’t remember in my diary I drew flowers and clouds and birds, can’t you tell I was so interested. Didn’t do much until service 4, We started worship and then half way through it, Josh said get on your knees if you haven’t worshiped God like that, so I did, then we sung our own personal song to God then we asked for the Holy spirit to come and talk to us, I want it so bad, so very very very very bad!!!! And i didn’t get it, I was utterly disappointed. I ran out and cried then went in and listened to the rest of the service. 3 people came up to me later and talked to me they said:
1. My walls are so strong, they are so mighty and that I need to bring them down.
2. My smile, it shines and makes people smile too, so never stop smiling.
3. To be proud of my God given talent.
I always wanted to have a God given talent in sport, academic studies or wisdom I didn’t want my God given talent or servitude. I didn’t want to serve I want to be something else. Btu the guy I talked to said that I am way to negative, I need to be proud of being a servant and accept Gods love. Then after all that just went to bed.
Day three Wednesday 13th July
I wasn’t grumpy this morning which is good and after my serve of coco pops had a dnm with David but it was rudely interrupted but that’s ok. Then service 5 which talked about the healing of our sins, and I went up again to be healed but I didn’t feel any different afterwards. Then my team did lunch which was burgers that was easy and people liked it, Had a trivia game, which was ok then dinner which was rice that was yum too. After dinner felt terrible so I just sat on a chair in the corner and one could say sulked, after dinner David came and talked to me, we talked about a lot of things and this conversation went on for 1.5 hours. Then service 6 I had my expectations which were:
1. Wisdom
2. Love
3. Relationship with God
4. Healing
5. Forgiveness
I want to do Gods plan for my life, I want to fulfil them but I can’t do that if he isn’t in my life. So I feel like a complete and utter FAILURE, I feel as if I have failed life, failed everything and that I am worthless and stupid. Then God healed my knee, this growth I had in my knee disappeared which was phenomenal and I was like WOW, I almost fell down in shock but Jo Cho caught me. Then as the night progressed it got a bit dull then he did this thing called the tunnel of fire which is about just feeling God and having the Holy Spirit flow over you and that is exactly what happened. My turn came and I was too scared to go in, jack held my hand and walked me in and halfway into it I fell to my knees, it wasn’t like something was pushing me down it was like I couldn’t stand in the presence of God and thus I fell to my knees. I mainly fell to my knees because i told God I could stand in his presence which you can't then AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We worshiped till 2am got to bed at a bit past 3am.
Day 4 Thursday 14th July
I slept talk and literally in my sleep very loudly exclaimed POTATOES!!! Hahahahaha, now everyone is calling my potato, sigh bus home was good, slept and David sat next to me again, which was weird because that isn’t like him, but we spent most of the trip in silence listening to our music. Then I had a revelation what if an autobot transformed into the go go gadget car, how cool!!!!!
That was camp, one of the best times of my life, even though I haven’t gotten my expectations yet doesn’t mean they won’t come and I have renamed my blog My adventure because as I talked to David he asked me whether this was going to be an adventure and the idea hit me, I was like it is my adventure with God and I will receive my expectations one day and God and I will form a great relationship cause life is an adventure you never know what is going to happen and you get to have fun with it.
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