Quaint Afternoon tea

Yes, I call my grandmother’s every week without fail and see them on a monthly basis.

But they have so many good stories to tell, and they are living proof that romance is true.

Ahahaha, but I would believe it anyway =)

Spent a thrilling afternoon with my grandmother, we have baklava and orange juice at her house.

It was nice however I really don't like orange juice so I had to skull it down and smile =)

I'm well trained in eating food I don't like =) Family values or something like that!

Today was good because I never have to sit the GAT again, a 3 hour exam which is insanely boring, I also had a job interview that went well and I went and saw my grandmother =)

To end it off my grandmother gave me $100 because she loves me!!

She is so kind and sweet that I burst into tears; it’s so nice to have someone praise you because they truly think you are wonderful and beautiful.

She was so earnest and genuine, it was amazing, I remember growing up and being told that I was worth nothing and believing it for 18 years. Now someone thinks that I'm better than that. That I'm more than what these people told me I was.

Tip for the week, get to knwo you grandparents, if they aren't as nice as mine no worries. i'm sure they have some good stories to tell =D

-tash

Exams

Having exams worth so much of my study score I must admit has made me lazy with my SAC's! Why does VCAA do this to us?!?!

I don't understand this pressure at all or the stupidity of the value of marks for exams!

Mind you it doesn't really matter for all us non-academic people because school still isn't natural to me even after 13 years!

Also not only am I kicked out of home on a assupmtion but also now branded a stalker!

What is this world coming too?

My kin have assumed and labelled me on a ridiculous idea and that has given them enough evidence to remove me from their family.

They wont even talk to me? They call themselves chrisitans!

I can't think of people hiding under such a false title, God would never do that to me.

I can't belive my parents are!

They hide behind their title of Christians and refuse to grow up and behave like parents.

However, since my banishment of them, life is going considerably well, I'm happy and scary enough my room is clean!

My mind is organised and I'm not nearly as stressed or worried or even as anxious any more.

So the move has so far been overall  good and beneficial for my mental health!

Far from home plus intergalactic communication

What I define as a upbeat, lovely, kind modern and compassionate young average teenage girl, also known as me, is defined, by others known as family, as not straight. Yet I couldn't be any further away from not straight.

So rocked up to school two days ago and all I said all day was square, after some bewilderment and confusion from my friends. My definition of square was given, in between the hyperventialting,  that it meant this very good looking guy I had met. Who was just tank and square. Thus the word square!

So in relation to the title, I was kicked out of home well rather given a stupid ultimatium because my family thought I would come back to them begging for forgiveness. And I refused and wound up far from home.

I was told to leave home or never pick up my friend, who is a girl and who they also thought was my partner. Mind you I'm still waiting for MISTER right, though they never asked me about it.

So i'm far from home but it brings me to ask then what is my home? I'm like a brand new person, almost! So is my idnentity actually there in the house I live in? Do I belong to a inatitmate object? Well, yeah I do but that's a whole new blog post!

My family saw my decision as me chosing my girl friend over them, thus the intergalactic communication. It's like we are on different plantets and trying to communicate and we went drastically wrong. They think I'm les, I'm crushing on "square" and the result is that I'm "homeless".

One day, when I can find a solution, I will return home and move to the same planet as my parents =)

Long time

Didn't want to delete my blog but stopped using it, not that anyone reads it any more =/

I got a black dog like Winston Churchhill, if you catch my drift =/

Yet I couldn't be more up beat and up lifted at this moment in time =D

Renee chan that stupid song is playing in my head now-best friends

not to self never look into a guys eyes while dnming for over 30mins

Dear Jack

I have always had a mindset of that life is crap but is it really? Honestly is my life that crap, you can't compare life so how can it be crap? Would I rather my life or the life of my cousin? It brings me to tears everytime I think of him, I know that I find it hard to relate to him and spend time with him cause I am so self conscious but doctors gave him no more than 2 years to live then no more than 5 yrs to live, he is 7 now and fighting like a true hero who unlike me doesn't squallar in his misery. He is so beautiful, he is cheeky and kind and loving and brings such joy and life to everyday that I see him. It is heart wrenching when I think of all the things he has to cope with in his life and when doctors didn't give him long to live? I have a abled body and a good functioning mind which I am wasting on the past,i can't change the past or the present but I can change my future, I live in regret of everything I have done and drown in my misery like Jack I can't change it but I can be like him. I want live with joy and love in my heart like he does, from his bright eyes and infectious smile it has inspired me despite my lack of communication with him. If he can live life at 7 years old with such omph and vevatiousness why can't a 17 year old girl do it? Jack not that you will every know but I am truely in your debt forever and day young man =D

I love you so much not that I will ever be any good at showing it =/

Happiness may only come in fleeting moments but we can make it last forever if we can treasure each moment. If we hold captive the memory and refuse to let it go and not let anything cloud the memory.

Don't you ever find, that to find that sweetness in life you have an after taste the makes you forget the sweetness because it is so bitter?

Life becomes a count of how many scars you have and how you are dying to be healed, dying for the "perfect" person to just come and be everything that you need.

We begin this search for something just to fill us, satisfy our hunger our need, this thirst for somesort of fairytale to be your story.

We walk right past God but stop to ask him for healing, fulfilment and that "perfect" person.

Funny thing but it doesn't work out like that...

Yeah we got scars and at times we hide them or "show-them-off"

nothing is ever consistant, not even God.

i wish I could make God consistant in my life...

I wish I could fill my all my needs with God, to have no more hunger or wants or thirst for anything but God and his plan for my life.

First step I guess is accepting my flaws and changing the ones I can change, how often do we just try and forget our flaws or brush it off?

I want to be different, really just be a role model and someone to look up to for God...

I want to have a purpose and to make a difference, not in a history textbook but in the lives and hearts of many people who know can have the God I have, no have every hunger, thirst and wants filled with God.

I have this thing were I see what i want from movies, I want some guy to sweep me off my feet but chances are he will drop me almost straight after picking me up, I'm crazy!!

gtg to bed its 1am =D have a plan and figure something out so life evolves around God! I want to be quenched and have my imagination blown up by God. Just require some tweaking and fixing.