thought #2- religion

Don't take me wrong here, im just exploring a thought...

Religion
In the history of the world, nothing has been the catalyst of more grief, hatred, war, and crime than religion. Religion allows a person to hate, kill, torture, or steal, while allowing him to recuse himself of all blame.  Religion causes people to break the laws of ethics and morality in the name of a god.
Religion dulls the mind and weakens the senses.  It makes "God did it" seem like a reasonable answer to anything at all, squelching questions of why, how, and when, and replacing these questions with repeated mantras and prayers to nobody.
Religion is exquisitely profitable, with most adherents tithing a portion of their income.  The churches, synagogues, and mosques, which do little to serve their community outside of "outreach programs" (marketing and recruiting), pay almost no taxes.
Religion spreads like disease through societies, rarely coexisting with pre-existing mythologies, rather preferring to conquer or be conquered. Religion is anything but tolerant.
 Religion is malicious, malevolent, and unworthy of respect.
You probably knew that already.
I challenge the ethics of the professional liars who claim to speak for gods to bilk parishioners into giving away their money in exchange for an immortality that will never be granted.  I also challenge the ethics of the politicians who use government to further their religious agenda, and vice versa.

Mixed Emotions

Someone gave a devotion at homeroom today and its well something I have heard, it was just phrased differently. You may not have tomorrow, everything you think of like due work or catching up with someone or whats happening next week in the end doesn't matter only today matters. What are you doing now, right now? I'm filling in my log book for driving and well maybe I should start my hw which I have calculated to take me 11 hours. YAY... I don't know if God stirred something inside of me but what was said today turned my world around and I was just more open to God for today. I went to a funeral today, I didn't know how i felt about it, I mean this was the first funeral I have been to that I remotely know the person, I have been to 2 other funerals one was a family friend who died in a car crash leaving 2 young kids and a young wife. I wonder why God let that happen, I mean why wasn't God there to stop that, what about that poor family now? What will happen to their kids? I don't understand the timing of God!!! The next funeral was a father of a close friend, I spent hours talking to this friend during a period of time while his father was sick. The time spent is invaluable and it kinda brought us closer and I just bawled my eyes at out that funeral. I just couldn't see God point of view and I blamed myself that I didn't pray enough or hard enough to save his dad and that I couldn't find something to help him. I went to visit his dad and I didn't know what to say to his dad. I mean what does one say to the dad. So I just bawled my eyes out at that funeral. Now I knew the person at this funeral I was related to her but I wasn't that close, I didn't cry but I wanted to however I didn't even know this lady furthermore I had failed as a christian. What I was meant to do for God I hadn't and now I can never change that.. I must remember that there might be no tomorrow and I got to live each day so I can be happy with my day...good night my dear 3 readers...

Thought # 1

Where does one put thier uttermost deepest thoughts. I'm struggling with the truth, I mean what is the truth. How does one know what is real and what isn't real. We all watch movies, read newspapers and do other cupious things but what is the truth? How do I know that someone hasn't changed the Bible? I don't, how can one know something when reality is that they only know what somewants them to know. We only know some ones point of view, what some one thinks of something! Tell me I'm wrong, tell me that you know every thing you know from a unbiased and un altered experience you had. You can't!!! What is the point of life, its like we are all just revolving around views and hopes nothing that we can stand on. We hope that when we pray we are praying to an ultimate God. I don't get life, who prospers from life? Why have we as people fallen so low, the only logical answer I could come up with was freedom. Eg. The new song friday by rebecca black, ok its not the worlds best song and some people think its lame but what gives us a right to go tell he to die. numerous amounts of people have told her to go and slash her wrists because her life isn't worth living? How can we stoop so low we were given the freddom of speech and that is how we use it. . Going back to the truth thing, I want the truth, all truths are easy to understand the hard part is to uncover them. Honesty is a virtue with or with out religion, so why do you and I struggle with it? Why is it a battle for people every day. If you died now, like right now would you be content with your life, content with all the lies you told, the mask you wore and the people you hurt. Does that make you happy, does that make you enjoy life? Where does religion fit into this, religion is just another meaningless word thats pushed into people.  Even the worst of people want love? Love still hasn't lost its meaning, but what is the meaning of love? I think it means something different to each person. My version of love for a while up to recently was movie love, romantic stuff and the ultimate aim was a boyfriend. It crushed me that I never got a boyfriend at that point in my life but I don't see that as an excuse to act like my life is miserable. To whom is my life miserable, to only me. I don't know the truth about my life, I don't know the story behind what happens in my life. Maybe if I knew the truth my life would be better but the truth now days is like telling a lie when your litttle you never tell a lie and as you grow up, you never tell the truth.

Simple Birthday Card




Part 2

 

Its so simple but in the greater scheme of things it played a big role in defining my day... I like it

Amazing Day

It was my birthday today, I woke up, felt old, kidding felt the same. Iced my cake and got ready for school. It felt no different to yesterday probably no different to tomorrow. I went to school got the living daylights hugged out of me. If you know me you will learn something new or you might already know this, I do like hugs, I like hugs alot but not this every day nonsense that happens. It makes one look forward to a hug when it isn't a daily occurence. So when your sad you get a hug and you feel better right. well it works like that for me any way. Guys hug better then girls, not that I was taking any notice. Recess came and I couldn't find my closest friends, that was slightly annoying but i moved on and had my cakes. Everybody liked them which was great. Had english then had CHAPEL, i LOVE IBU. She is amazing, I WANT A DUCKIE!!!!!!hahaha Lunch time came and my friends had yet gone. I couldnt find them now i was annoyed. I wasn't worth any of thier time? They came waltzing up to me, they requested for me to come with them and i reluctantl went with them was merryly walking along and I see David and jack with a guitar each. i turned around now!!! But i was sat down by 3 girls ( if i rly wanted to get away no one could stop me, im to strong ( ; )I sit down and david says something and then they sing a song, True colours, i have never heard that song apart from teh words let your true colours shine through. They sung it and i was so me, David found the songa nd planned it all. It set the mood fo rlunch. Lunch was AMAZING, i will never ever ever ever ever ever ever forget lunch. i am so blessed t ohave these amazing friends. Damn david is good, want to find a guy like david one day, ( sorry just a thought david, if ur reading this) Any way im off best birthday of my life, couldnt ask foranythign better

My WICKED cupcakes...

I made these wicked cupycakes...

Just quotes...

If your alone I'll be your shadow

If you want a hug I'll be your pillow

If you want a friend I'll be me"

Unknown

"A true friend reaches for your hand and

touches your heart"

Unknown

"Nothing is as strong as gentleness and

nothign is as gentle as real strength"

St. Francis di Sales

new day same motion

What now, what do I do now. Do I put my foot down and say no? Would saying no cause the same emotional torment it always does. When do I do what is best for me? Only 2 years left before I go, I am going to go and not stop, who needs to take that look back, what do I look back to.  It scary how much my mind is different now, I mean from what I used to think. I wonder what my birthday will be like, will my family care, care like what I do. When I'm sad people always say I'm amazing, but reality proves that wrong. I mean what have I done with my life to make it amazing, absoulty nothing. I'm just go with the flow, run with the idea. Oh well back to school work now...

Soppy Quotes ( ;

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.

Love is when your puppy licks your face
even after you left him alone all day.

The biggest obstacle of love is the fear of not being loved.

A guy and a girl can be just friends
but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other,
maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time,
maybe too late or maybe, just maybe ...forever.

Love is just a word till someone you meet gives it a meaning.

Meh weekend

It is so peculiar how life can be so bad, and things get worse but you can be so content. What is up with that? I wish at times I could be just right for every body, I could have the right timing or the right words to say to people. I just hate that I don't and often will say the wrong thing and no matter how hard I try I probably wont get it right. I just wish I could be a better person.

New topic

Nothing much to write about, so much to say though. I could keep talking for a cetnury but the person I want to listen well they can't listen at the moment. Oh well life goes on

Don't read if you don't want the truth...

Where to start...I never knew that love would hurt so much. I mean every thing I can put in can all be thrown back at me. I wonder where life goes on from here, I still love everyone so much and I will keep being kind, generous, and loving because that is who I am. I feel like giving up right now, in all honestly I contradict what I said yesterday, I don't feel worthy.  I suppose it is just this one person who right now has this knack for making me feel down right miserable. Although I gained an old friend but that came at a cost, and it was the cost of another friend but that other friend has only hurt me in the last 3 weeks so I think it was all worth it. My friend complained that I didn't give them enough space when they asked for space, I gave them 2 days. Life can change in a moment and they should know this better than any one else. I just want to treasure each moment because who knows how long you will have that moment but it’s so hard when things crash and burn to keep getting back up. So push through, people always say to get over it and other stuff. People say this to me constantly, does anyone get that it isn’t that easy. That each time you get back up it is like sanding your heart. Each time you get back up it hurts even more and you care even more. I know my heart is raw and my mind is all over the place  I know you can't compare lives but I wish that there is some one out there who will treat me right, care for me the way I care for others. Love me for me, I suppose I’m desperate for the wrong kind of love but what can one do when they face this heart wrenching torment every day and just keep getting up. I don't know many people but I wish that there was someone out there who loved me the way I loved all you guys, I can't ask you to be me or even act like me but I want someone to come into my life and help me. I want to find someone who REALLY does know what I go through, who knows that life is getting to the point where I am inside screaming out and ready for a nervous breakdown, but how can 16 year old friends understand. For a moment I thought someone understood me but I was wrong, that person will never get it and they will never care for me the way I cared for them. I may not be strong or brave or smart but somewhere in my secret heart I know, Love will find a way. I know that is a quote but at this moment in time it is what sums me up. I may be strong but I am as weak as I am strong and I am not brave, if only you knew. I'm not smart with every bad choice I have made. My secret heart, well as much as it is a cliché, how can one show their heart if someone is lying in wait to destroy it. I just have to hold on to hope, it’s like the only thing I have left to hold onto is hope and I hope that one day love will find its way into my heart, the love I want because I if I am loved at this moment in time, I beg of those certain people not to love me. No wonder the world is like the way it is, I once wrote

Why can't life be one of those movies, happy with a few problems?

Why does have to be a catastrophe,

Why can't I explain how broken I am, why can't I describe my broken heart.

How can be told they are loved but surrounded by a wall of hate,

How can one cry themselves to sleep and no one notice those red eyes.

How can one have a voice and yet feel so mute,

Is this life even possible or is this a very begging before a fairy tale starts.

But when will they fairytale start?

I wrote that 3 years ago and it’s funny how everything is going backwards. I mean life hasn’t improved, I think I could almost say that it is back to the way it was. If only one knew what those 6 months were like, the horrors, the torment and this really isn’t appropriate to be writing on a blog, should I even say this.

My little infatuations

I like the Lion King movies at them moment. Maybe its the new person I'm fond of or maybe its me being silly old me. Who knows...if I don't know? I love Lion King 2, here are some quotes from the songs and if you hear me singing these songs please just ignore me...

...I may not be brave or strong or smart

but some where in my

SECRET HEART

I know, Love will find a way...

...Love is never wrong so it never dies...

...In a perfect world, one we have never known

we would never need to face this world

ALONE...

Its so much fun loving God, I can't fathom what I would do with out God by my side. I'm so glad that my mind has been taken off my situation and put into something silly cause it eases me for a moment that I sneak a spare thought about this silly thing. It is like holding the weight for me, I think I will be grey when I'm 20. So much stress, I don't even want to think about it...