Thought #6

All I know is that I am happy, and I know that even though life still sucks it doesn't matter cause

LOVE really does conqure all

I never thought in a million years I could love some people who have caused imense amount fo pain in my life.

These people caused me to try and die

 these people sent my spiraling down into a pit of self destruction

These people made sure I knew nothign of what love, care or compassion was

these people caused me more harm in 17  years so far then what you or I can ever imagine

the box of memories i have is bottomless, miserable, desolte and dark memories

and they dont matter any more

who cares,

no one is going to ask how yoru childhood was, not even ur hubby or wife not your children

in the end its between you and God

and when you get over or open that box of memories that you have tucked away from the world

( i tucked  my memories away thinking that the world would see me as a beast, a monster)

you start to sort throught them, see whats anchoring you down

the you simply


LOVE


when you love I mean really love people like that, you know something is right in your messed up world

you cant fake this love, this love you know it when you got it


and I got it

and its not this unstable hope that i talked about in thought#3

its real hope that I think i will be able to hold on to

and i haven't been fully honest with anyone since forever,

i have even disliked you and faked liking you.

( which to me is rly mean)

but thsi is real this me and im exactly where i am supposed to be

so when you see me and see me smile

know that it is sincere and honest and that I * my name goes here*

love you,


 for who you are

 and that you are a very special person, and  that I am holding onto your hand for the rest of my life because i wont be letting go easily or with out a fight


" if the essence of my being has caused a smile to have appeard upon yoru face or a touch of joy within your heart  then in living i have made my mark"

and i hope that i have made my mark in your life cause my dear reader you have marked mine