Sorry

That is like now 3 posts for one night, Isn't it crazy how you can see how special someone is?

That still doesn't make me special, whats even worse is liking a guy and knowing that this unique girl is sooner going to catch his attention rather than you.

That sucks...

but oh well, life has curves.

I just wish I was as "perfect " as the people I see around me, they might not have everything together but there is this quirkyness to them. It almost draws you in...

But if you stripped me o fmy defences and my protective gear, would Tash still be tash???

Would I be special?

I dont know, and this wholetough thing isn't really me.

I really am so very gentle and shy...

kinda weird when I think about it, but even then I'm not fully sure if the whole gentleness is me.

I have always been shy but nothing is quirky about me...

a and before i write my poem quick note

Romans 1v19
Since what may be known about God is plain to them. Because God has made it plain to them.

We dont know things(  David about the angels) because we can only see plain stuff like what we read from the bible and God has only made it plain to us. If you understand me...

Romans 1v20
For since the creation of the world Gods invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made so that men are with out excuse.

When ever I find life getting hard and I doubted God, I use to always come back to those verses...and as usually I forget about those verses till 5 minutes ago.

I was having a bad day and I was looking out side and it was all so beautiful and charming and I wanted to be what I saw...then I looked at my computer game I was playing and it said where are you how do you get out

then I wrote a poem...

Looking Out

The sun's shininh, birds are singing

but silent tears fall again

Alas a smile, is soon to be placed

on my face because I can't

show I'm weak, can't show

 my fears. I could scream

but no one's listening. Looking out my window,
what a splendid view, I wish I
could  reach out and grab it,
and simply place it inside
of me. I want the beauty
I want the charm
I want the gentle strength.
I thought that was all me
but where am I?
How do I get out?

We dont know