Dear Jack

I have always had a mindset of that life is crap but is it really? Honestly is my life that crap, you can't compare life so how can it be crap? Would I rather my life or the life of my cousin? It brings me to tears everytime I think of him, I know that I find it hard to relate to him and spend time with him cause I am so self conscious but doctors gave him no more than 2 years to live then no more than 5 yrs to live, he is 7 now and fighting like a true hero who unlike me doesn't squallar in his misery. He is so beautiful, he is cheeky and kind and loving and brings such joy and life to everyday that I see him. It is heart wrenching when I think of all the things he has to cope with in his life and when doctors didn't give him long to live? I have a abled body and a good functioning mind which I am wasting on the past,i can't change the past or the present but I can change my future, I live in regret of everything I have done and drown in my misery like Jack I can't change it but I can be like him. I want live with joy and love in my heart like he does, from his bright eyes and infectious smile it has inspired me despite my lack of communication with him. If he can live life at 7 years old with such omph and vevatiousness why can't a 17 year old girl do it? Jack not that you will every know but I am truely in your debt forever and day young man =D

I love you so much not that I will ever be any good at showing it =/