Thought # 10

I think I am happy, like over everything.

It’s hard to explain so bear with me,

I haven't overcome these fears I have but i have stopped avoiding them.

I don't lie any more

I am honest

I have confidence in who I am

I can fluke this sort of confidence usually and no one can tell.

But now it’s real, I am trying to put aside everything that is holding me back

I am struggling like crazy,

I got to a point in life; I don't think my description will do it justice

But when you reach so low in life, all these suicide thoughts cross your mind,

And you feel this immense happiness if you jumped off that building or stepped out in front of that car.

I really can't describe that feeling, you know it if you got it.

I still over think things and worry excessively as people keep finding out,

I can be extremely shy; only 2 people did know that. SO funny though

~just slipping in a memory here~

Hung out with David and he figured out that I was shy, it was so funny.

I clearly was in denial and it was like he had found out my deepest darkest secret. He was laughing and jumping around, we then went to anthem and he ran around anthem telling people and the absolute funniest thing was that no one believed him!!! LOL

That’s was hilarious.

I'm going through this phase atm where I don't really liked to be touched, if you give me a hug I won’t return it, don't know why.

Also still don't want to get married.

Might get past that maybe not.

Love is a big word with a big meaning

And can you say you love someone???

Not sure...but i think it may be too much to say im in love

Not sure?

Love is a huge call!!!!!

Although I do love my friends, tonnes and tonnes!!!

Seriously though readers,

HOPE

We all go through tough times,

Death of loved ones
Abuse
Loneliness
Burdens of society
Ourselves

But HOPE,

If you don't take time for God, it isn't getting you any where

Talk to God 24/7 about everything.

He wants to hear it all even though he knows it.

Toodles