P&H

You know when something hurts you over and over again, I always thought that in time to come it wouldn't hurt any more. That I would be numb, I was wrong, so wrong. It hurts the same every time and every time i go through the same motion; anger, sadness, confusion and surpisingly hope. I always hope that one day this would end but these things that cause this pain have an even greater effect on me. I promised myself I will never let any one close enough to hurt me like this and I don't think I will ever break this promise. I get curious as how is this going to help me God in the long run? The next thing is that I feel like what I say and do might put to much pressure on my friends so isolation is the next bes thing. So I wont let them get any closer or if I think they are to close figure out a way to change it. Is this the smartest solution no but I am so sick of all this cruelty and pain around me and let alone the world. When I finish growing up I want to change this!